A New Strain of Smug

A gushing story on temperamental chefs appeared in the top center spot of the main web page yesterday afternoon, and was still clinging to the front page at the end of the evening.

It read as if written by a masochist who enjoys being sneered at by artistic cooks. As the story says, "New York has spawned a breed of hard-line restaurants and cafes that are just saying no." And then proceeds to listing a series of faux pas that make snobbish owners and chefs sneer at their customers.

Almost 20 years ago, Seinfeld made fun of the cringing esthetes buying soup in the famous "Soup Nazi" episode. Maybe some of the prohibitions make a sliver of sense -- like not offering takeout espressos. But most of these rules are beyond the pale, like policies of no substitutions and no instructions to the kitchen. So if you won't eat undercooked brussels sprouts for $50 a plate, you won't eat at all. The writer calls this accessorizing to the customer's taste.

This sensibility has gotten out of control. Successful people are ceding control of what they like to eat to obnoxious cooks who might turn you out into the cold night because they are offended by the appellation -- they are chefs, they will tell you angrily, and that means they are filled with artistic temperament. And if you don't like what they cook, they way they cook it, screw you.

The story celebrates a perverted pride in submitting to these petty tyrannies.

Am I overreacting? Do I miss the arch irony? I think not. The headline writer got it right: "Have It Your Way? Puritan Chefs Say No Way", which is a riff on a series of fast food ads from the not-too-distant past. It's your choice: McDonalds, or these heavenly cooks.

I say liberate your ketchup if you want.