The Sixth Deadly Sin

If the New York Times is going to take Charlie Sheen at all, it is going to take him seriously.

The paper was not satisfied with the attitude toward Sheen, unlike its earlier coverage and unlike the rest of us. The only way to explain the near universal fascination with such a privileged and stubborn fuck-up like Sheen is the old sin number six, envy, which Dante called one of the forms of perverted love. And lest our efforts here be considered frivolous, we can remember that Dante was not talking about theology, but about his fellow man, real people, contemporaries, his enemies in Medieval Italy. I suppose we could find a scholar of Italian literature to explain the back-story to the cantos that touch on envy, but we'll be satisfied with just knowing that The Divine Comedy was catty.

The story with the headline of "Sheen Is Surrounded by a Coterie of Enablers" takes the high road of self-help. It discovers that a rich, handsome celebrity is surrounded by a group of money-grubbing hangers-on, or enablers in the parlance of self-help.

I think it's an underrated problem that big shots are almost always surrounded by yes men, and if the big man stays drunk, does drugs constantly and loves whores, they are the last people on earth to be appalled. I've seen this dynamic in every office I've ever worked in, every classroom I've ever suffered through, every party I've ever gone to. Yes, people suck up.

If you ever need a boost, go to a clothing store that has salesmen and try on a few things. All men customers are suddenly handsome and women beautiful.

But we need significance, as usual. So the story explains, "While bad behavior by star performers is tolerated in a number of industries -- sports and high fashion, for example -- Hollywood has a longer public history of aiding and abetting addicts."

Indeed. A drunk can run a studio into the ground, but if he's an executive who makes decisions. No one calls upon actors for decisions (unless they're voters). They are symbols. They're not supposed to do anything but pose and make the rest of us envious. No one should have to explain why such employment can make a person self-indulgent and irresponsible.

Unless they're consumed by the seventh deadly sin -- pride -- and tend to put on airs and pretend to be above it all.